Kan’t See It for Kimmy: You Need More People

Kimmy Kakes’ engagement party

She finally did it. Some man of meager millions was found, prepped and thrust in the spotlight as Kim Kardashian’s (second) husband. It seems as though E! is begging audiences to care about the constant Kardashian “romance” coverage of 6 months throughout their Newlywed stage, contracted filmed for “reality”television. A  2am showing of “Keeping Up With Kapitalists Kardashians” prompted the following list for kicks & giggles.

Ten Reasons I can’t see it (AT ALL) for Kimmy Kakes’ lasting nuptials:

10. Who is Kris Humphries?

9. Same recycled “love” proclamations of the last (4) seasonsThe stiff smiles, slow twirls, and sing-song voice when talking about Kim’s “fiance” was seen with Reggie Bush, Miles Austin, those guys while she was heauxing dating in New York, Gabriel Aubrey, well, you get it. 

8. Mason Disick is more interesting – Lil’ Mason and his impeccable wardrobe frequent the best-dressed list in style magazines. Kids are in, with longer star power than adults with no talent offerings.

7. 20 carats is too much – Consider these basic/ ignorant numbers for a “math” equation: 6 months of dating (1 wk in the real world) less (-) Kris’ questionable salary (X), (1) sex tape, a depreciating value of “asset” (- Kimmy Kakes), and a possible (+2) season spinoff from E! (couple grand per episode) = FINANCIAL FAIL.

6. WHO is Kris Humphries??

5. Khloe is the star (nobody lied) – The more personable and entertaining Kardashian has done-done it ALL, and first. Khloe and Lam Lam’s success almost eclipsed the buzz of Kim & her stand-in groom, so audiences got their Reality TV Dream wedding this time last year watching the Odom’s (still a hit in syndication).

4. E! programming can’t take another Kardashian show – Seriously. I think the public will revolt if forced to watch spinoffs of every family member & their prepubescent voices.

3. Tabloids think the story’s stale – A rather boring engagement (also taped for “reality” tv) barely made the People cover. Reports are that media knows Kimmy’s stock is plummeting so few outlets are willing to pay millions for the “exclusive”. Meh. Who wants to read it when it will air 24/7 on repeat?!?!

2. It’s all about the dress – Everyone knows that’s the big draw, and Kim’s no fashion icon (let’s be serious). Few style reports are buzzing in anticipation about what Kim will rock down the aisle. I think it’s because we’ve seen her in about as much Herve Leger anyone can stand, Khloe’s already donned Vera, and who can top the nuptial silhouettes of Kate & Pippa?? Don’t worry, I’ll wait.





About Dawnavette

A Modern Renaissance Woman passionate about writing, women's issues, race relations, pop culture and music.

Posted on June 21, 2011, in Commentary and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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